So… what are you, Canadian OR Algerian?

I was born and raised in Algeria (gasp), I also grew up in Canada. This is nothing exceptional right. What seems to suprise some people here in France is that I take pride in this, as you may call it, double culture. Some people are not able to grasp more than one unique identity. Their perception of life is sometimes rigid and simplistic, as if you need to choose one or another: either communitarianism and rejection of values from the host country, wich often lead them to secularism and intolerance ; OR, assimilation and rejection of their heritage, wich also tend to intolerance. As if two cultures are impossible to blend together. It’s either white or black. Actually, I don’t consider myself having a double identity. I don’t even see myself reduced to two cultures. I had the chance to live in the multi-cultural Montreal and take my cues from all kind of cultures. I guess I am a pure product of my family and societies’ education and experiences. I would never feel like a 100% Canadian, as I don’t feel like a 100% Algerian anymore. In fact, I don’t feel like a 100% anything. I feel like me, having my own personal identity that defines my own self and no one else. That’s how I am comfortable with it. I certainly went through a cultural clash the first years when I arrived in Canada as a teenager. I felt overwheled by this brutal change of environment but I adapted. I never chose one or another nationality according to who I spoke to neither. I simply am both Canadian and Algerian and to me, it’s not so hard to conceive.

Here in la Cité interntionale universitaire de Paris, I get often asked where I come from. I unsually answer Canada, because that’s where I last came from directly. Plus, Canada is my home. I usually feel their surprise, as if they don’t believe me. Why? Because: 1) “I don’t look like it” (they probably think that Canadians are all, like Swedish, blond-blue eyed). 2) Because I don’t have the Quebec accent. That’s when I add that I also am Algerian, that I always spoke French and that I never wanted to pick up the accent, and so on. My answer is usually followed up by a “oooohh I see”. I don’t give a flying fuck about what that’s supposed to mean but I have an idea: they might be thinking that I was trying to hide my origins, when it’s actually due to the fact that I don’t always want to develop on my life history, giving a five minute answer everytime I get that question. Maybe I’m paranoiac, but that’s how I interpret it. People are always disturbed to see someone that dosen’t conrrespond to their prejudice. So if people just need to be conforted, maybe next time I should invent a country and pretend that I’m from this imaginary place.

I recently attended a show of Biyouna, a famous Algerian artist. Before the opening of the show, I have witnessed a pathetic behavior in the audience. The usher was trying to sit the last spectators arriving. On my left, there was these two girls and next to them, the last seat of the row was free. The usher asked all of us -politly- to switch from one seat, three times. I stared at these girls on my left. The biatches putting a face on, ignored her and refused to move. One of the last arriving spectators asked herself, one last time, more rudely. The two biatches finally moved their big asses, not whitout whining: “We say PLEASE!” – “I shouldn’t have left her [talking about the usher] an euro tip!”… Then these biatches kept on laughing like cows during the whole show. All this attitude seemed so fake to me. On the way out, we were discussing that with my French friend. Why these idiots, with such a state of mind, would attend a show of Biyouna, who’s a humoristic, cool, progressive and provocative (for her time and society) artist? Biyouna often mentioned Algeria during her show. They obviously loudly applauded. Were they trying to prove something by this behavior? Were they trying, in a way, to prove they were Algerians by over doing it? By being tempered, reactive, proud and exuberant more than the Algerian natives themselfs (to the point where they were just obnoxious)? Maybe I’m wrong but from my point of view, this is an example of complex due to an identity crisis… Even though life is much simpler when we’re just being ourselves. Because no matter who we are, some people are going to love us and some others, just hate on us aniway.